Scripture References to help you make the best C.H.O.I.C.E.S.

Read . . . Re-read . . . And Then Read Again . . .

Resource for the following is a book by Greg Speck, entitled, Sex: It's Worth Waiting For.

Men are visually oriented. Women can help men in this area by dressing modestly. Matthew 5:28 "But I say to you, that everyone who looks on a woman to lust for her has committed adultery with her already in his heart."

Premarital intercourse is wrong. Master your body. Don't let your body master you: 1 Thessalonians 4:3-7 "For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God; and that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in sanctification."

Petting does not build up tolerance against further desire; it does just the opposite. It sexually excites you and reduces your self-control. Petting is subject to the moral law of diminishing returns (the more you do something the less exciting it is. So in order to keep petting exciting, and to gain satisfaction, the amount and intensity of the petting must continue to increase. Ephesians 5:3 "But do not let immorality or any impurity or greed even be named among you, as is proper among saints." Petting screams of sexual immorality. Petting ought not be a part of a Christians dating relationships.

The world ought to see a difference in the relationships of Christians. We need to stand out as lights without a hint of immorality. Matthew 5:14, 16 "You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. . . Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven."

We are sexual beings, and sex is very good because God said so - in the context of marriage. Genesis 2:24-25 "For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed." You leave, you unite, and then in God's eyes you are "one flesh." Do you love the person you are dating? If you answer yes to the following questions, then you are probably loving your date.

1. Is the relationship morally pure?

2. Because the other person has dated you, does he/she have a better self -image?

3. Because of going out with you, is the other person closer to Christ?

Sin will manipulate, bind, control, and eventually kill you. Romans 6:23 "The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Jesus wants to set you free. Freedom will never be found in doing something contrary to the very purpose for which God created the human body. 1 Corinthians 6:13 "The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body." The body is not meant for premarital sex. And God ought to know, because He created sex.

Sex is wonderful in a marriage relationship. Proverbs 5:18-19"May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer -- may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love."

The solution for satisfying a deep desire for a sexual relationship is found in marriage. "If they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." In marriage, we can express these desires free of guilt, in a way that honors and pleases God.

Besides sex being fun, Proverbs 5:18, it also brings about children, Genesis 1:28 "Be fruitful and increase in number."

Question shouldn't be, "OK, what do I have to do?" but rather, "How much do I love Jesus?" If I truly love someone then I want to please him, and doing that isn't a burden but rather a pleasure. John 15:14 "If you love Me, you will keep My commandments."

Give your body to God right now. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."

Premarital sex will rob you of peace. You can't very well say I love Jesus Christ and then disgrace Him at the same time. 1 Peter 2:11 "Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against the soul."

Psalms 51:3   "My sin is always before me." We know our sin is there and it eats away at us.
We are missing out on an exciting, abundant life because we are compromising and in turn being robbed. John 10:10 "The thief comes only to steal, and kill, and destroy; I came that they might have life, and might have it abundantly."

Isaiah 59:2 "Your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear."

Galatians 5:19 "The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery." One sin tends to lead to another.

1 Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it."

Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -- think about such things."

Romans 12:1 "Therefore I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer yourselves as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God -- this is your spiritual act of worship.

Galatians 5:16 "So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature."

1 Timothy 2:22 "Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart."

Job 31:1 "I have made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl." Let's begin to see the opposite sex not as objects of our desire but as brothers or sisters in Christ, to be respected, protected, and loved. For the sake of being pure and obedient to the Lord, we must put out of our sight, as much as is possible in this sex-crazed world, anything that arouses our sexual appetite, i.e. T.V. programs, advertisements, pictures in magazines, etc. By doing this, you will keep wrong desires better under control. Guys, we can't keep from noticing girls, but we can keep from desiring them in an impure way. When speaking to a girl, do not let your eyes roam - look her in the eyes. Vow before the Lord to not look lustfully at a girl. Look away, look down, look up - whatever it takes. David looked . . . and we know the rest of the story. 2 Samuel 11:2. Eve looked . . . and we know the rest of the story. Genesis 3:6. Discipline your eyes & mind.

Ephesians 6:13-18. Armor of God

1 Peter 5:8-9. "Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls about like a roaring lion, seeking to devour. But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world."

Satan is a liar and will try to get us to believe a lie rather that the truth. "Everybody's doing it" - that's a lie. There have always been young people who have not done "it" until marriage. "If I invite Jesus into my life and turn away from sin, I'll miss out on all the fun." - that's a lie! "Things which eye has not seen and ear has not heard, and which have not entered the heart of man, all that God has prepared for those who love Him." 1 Corinthians 2:9. The 'ride' with Jesus Christ is a great adventure. So, "saddle up your horse and get ready to ride." Gary Chapman.

2 Corinthians 11:3 & 4 "But I am afraid, lest as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, your minds should be let astray from the simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ. For if one comes and preaches another Jesus whom we have not preached, or you receive a different spirit which you have not received, or a different gospel which you have not accepted, you bear this beautifully."

1 Timothy 4:12 "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity."

Acts 24:16 "So I strive always to keep my conscience clear before God and man."

Colossians 1:22 "But now he has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in His sight, without blemish and free from accusation."

1 John 1:9 "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

Psalms 130:3-4 "If you, O Lord, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared."

2 Corinthians 5:21 "God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us."

Sin separates us from God but God desires to separate us from sin. Psalms 103:12 "As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us."

Malachi 3:7b ". . . Return to me and I will return to you . . ."

Who do you desire to please more, God or man? Galatians 1:10 "Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ."

Seek God first. Matthew 6:33 "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

Spend time in the word. Proverbs 7:15 "My son, keep my words and store up my commands within you. Keep my commandments and you will live; guard my teachings as the apple of your eye. Bind them on your fingers; write theme on the tablet of your heart. . . they will keep you from the adulteress, from the wayward wife with her seductive words."

Memorize scripture. Psalm 119:9-11 "How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word. I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commandments. I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you."

Be an example as a couple of what it means to love Jesus Christ. Philippians 2:15 "Become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life."

James 4:10 "Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up."

Obey your parents. Ephesians 6:1 "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), that it may be well with you, that you may live long on the earth;" Colossians 3:20; Exodus 20:12; Luke 2:51

Beware of dating someone with low moral standards. 1 Corinthians 15:33 "Bad company corrupts good character."

 Some additional scriptures:

Matthew 5:27-30 "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery'; but I say to you that everyone who looks on a woman to lust for her has committed adultery with her already in his heart. And if your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out, and throw it from you; for it is better for you that one of the parts of your body perish, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if our right hand makes you stumble, cut it off, and throw it from you; for it is better for you that one of the parts of your body perish, than for your whole body to go into hell."

Romans 12:2 "And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect."

I Corinthians 7:1, 2 ". . . it is good for a man not to touch a woman. But because of immoralities, let each man have his own wife, and each woman have her own husband."

I Corinthians 7:32-35 "But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. And this I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is seemly, and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord."

Timothy is told to . . . appeal to the older women as mothers, and the younger women as sisters, in all purity.

2 Peter 1:3-8 "seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness . . . that you might become partakers of the divine nature . . . now . . . applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge; and in your knowledge, self-control . . . for if these qualities are yours and increasing, they render you neither useless nor unfruitful in the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ."

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13